Completely Crazy Poems

John Foster has always had impeccable taste in poetry. In these two little volumes of crazy and scary poems, we not only get the benefit of an imaginative selection but we also have the added bonus of some of his own creations being included. Here we find inspired groupings of poems in intriguing categories such as ‘Midnight Prowlers’, ‘Down at the Graveyard’, ‘In Cuckoo Street’ and ‘I’d Like To Be a Teabag’. We meet nutty people like Aunt Aggie who gets swallowed up by a vacuum cleaner: Where she is there’s no knowing But when the thing was overflowing It seems to me without a doubt They simply threw the old bag out. The variety of poems is admirable; we have a job application by Vampire Bat to Drac, the Director of the Blood Bank, Arterial Road, Gore, and an explanation of the tombstone inscription R.I.P for one relation-chewing Walter Witz: Aunties, uncles, nephews, nieces, All ended up Ripped in Pieces. There is the usual kind of childish, punning doggerel that invariably makes children fall about laughing such as the poem about the chocolate soldier who crosses the road when the lights are red: A double decker bus came by And now he’s chocolate spread. In between we have rather sophisticated poems such as the one about the cannibal who returned yesterday With and arm and a leg gone astray, He explained this strange lack By declaring, ‘I’m back, From a self-catering holiday.’ A clever, entertaining duo of anthologies for the 8+ age-group, which could not but raise a fruity chuckle.